Woman says she Don't Have Sexual Feeling Anymore

A woman in her 30s wrote to Tell Me Pastor, saying that she's not having anymore sexual feeling.

I am in my early 30s and I became a Christian recently. I used to beat the streets. That is how I survived. I started having sex from I was very young.

Sometimes I had sex four or five times for the night. I was well known on the street. I went for older men. Sometimes I did not have to have intercourse with the older men. They were more interested in having me do oral sex with them.

I had a certain politician who I dealt with and I could look forward to getting $10,000 from him. All he wanted was oral sex. I have even been to his house many times when his wife was away. I have gone right into his office and taken care of his needs there. I knew his wife, but she didn't know me. This man taught me that whenever I was coming to the office, I should dress in suits and heels. So nobody would suspect anything. While I was seeing him, I was living at home, but he helped me to get a nice little place and he was helping me to pay the rent. This man was only giving me $15,000 to help me with my rent, but I was doing drugs. I used to smoke the weed. I also smoked more than two packs of cigarettes every day. But using ganja gave me kicks and I could perform any sexual act.

I became ill and this man paid all my doctor bills. I could not get over ganja use. He encouraged me to go back home, but I didn't. My clients came to see me at the house and my landlord figured out what I was doing. So he gave me notice to leave. Sometimes when I was high, I was having sex but wasn't feeling anything. I did not desire sex; I was only doing it for money.

People told me that I was looking mash down. I had to use heavy make-up and wear dark glasses wherever I went out. I got involved with a guy who used to smoke weed. His girlfriend found out that he was seeing me and she threatened me. He told me he would protect me. I got a visa so I went away. I did not stay long because the friend I stayed with didn't want me to smoke in her house. She got help for me and while I was away, I became a Christian and got married.

I am trying my best to satisfy my husband, but I don't have any sexual feelings. He told me that he cannot deal with me. He believes that I am seeing another man, but I am not. I just don't want to have sex at all. She told the pastor.

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